No matter what I do, I just feel myself continue to fall apart. There’s nobody I want to confide in.

I can’t even confide in my therapist right now. I’m keeping everything bottled up. My emotions are being held. I don’t want to share them with anyone because I don’t know anyone I’d WANT to share them with.

I’ve never felt so selfish before, to just think about only my feelings all of the time, only think about my actions - but I’ve always spent time thinking about everyone else rather than myself.

The loneliness is settling in and there’s nobody to express how I’m feeling to. There’s nobody who I can just open up to fully and cry to and just trust with my entire heart.

I don’t expect anyone to read this - I always have these fucking rants, and I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who reads them.

I’m just going insane all stuck inside of my head and it’s killing me that there isn’t anyone who has shown me a sign of respect or trust anymore.

Everything I’ve feared is coming back, all that I’ve gotten rid of has come back, and I don’t know what to do.

I don’t have anyone to tell.

Sometimes it’d be nice to have a sign from someone who cares, just so I can try and keep myself controlled, so I don’t breakout with these emotions. But I’m not sure if anyone even cares at all anymore. I’m just not sure of it.

And that’s what’s a big factor in me not opening my mouth, besides the trust issue.

So, I’m just going to sit here and remain bottled up. Just remain silent with no intentions of coming clean of these words. It’s all I can do.